The Penny-Farthing Phantom T-Shirt

About This Design

Lord Barnaby “Bones” Blackwood did not join The Guild of Anarchists because he opposed order.

He joined because ordinary order was terribly dull.

By 1886, Barnaby had become the Guild’s Chief Mobility Examiner, a position he invented shortly after discovering that nobody else wanted it. His first official act was to declare horses mechanically unreliable, carriages offensively practical, and walking an insult to modern engineering.

His preferred mode of escape was the Blackwood High-Wheel Pursuit Avoidance Apparatus, known to everyone outside the Guild as a penny-farthing.

Every Friday at midnight, the citizens of Oakhaven heard the same warning: the distant ring of a bicycle bell followed by the unmistakable clack-whirrr of one enormous wheel moving much faster than good judgment allowed.

Barnaby rode in a tattered cape he claimed reduced wind resistance. His skull-topped cane served as a custom-weighted balance bar. A burlap sack of recently redistributed valuables was secured behind the seat to improve the machine’s center of gravity.

None of this had been independently verified.

The High Constable attempted to stop him several times. Each pursuit ended the same way: Barnaby leaned into a corner at a deeply irresponsible angle, rang his bell twice, and disappeared into the fog while shouting helpful warnings about loose cobblestones.

Guild records do not describe these outings as robberies.

They refer to them as “unscheduled demonstrations of mobile wealth reassignment.”

To the people of Oakhaven, he became the Penny-Farthing Phantom.

To The Guild of Anarchists, he was simply an engineer conducting field research.

Approved by the Guild.

Tested on public roads.

Permission never requested.

About the Shirt

Equip yourself for unauthorized progress with a premium tee inspired by impossible machinery, Victorian mischief, and the beautifully irresponsible world of The Guild of Anarchists.

Guild-Issue Unisex Fit: Designed for comfortable everyday wear, this relaxed unisex fit is equally suitable for workshop experiments, midnight bicycle escapes, secret meetings, and entirely legitimate trips across town.

Soft Enough for Civil Disobedience: Made from 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, this tee delivers an exceptionally soft, breathable feel from the first wear. Heather colors feature a durable cotton-poly blend for added comfort and longevity.

Premium Bella + Canvas Construction: Expert stitching, quality materials, and dependable construction help this shirt retain its fit and comfort through repeated wear, frequent washing, and the occasional hurried departure from local authorities.

Approved for Questionable Engineering: Perfect for inventors, mechanics, alternate-history enthusiasts, steampunk admirers, and anyone who believes every simple machine can be improved with more gears, additional steam pressure, and fewer permits.

Each design from The Guild of Anarchists celebrates forgotten blueprints, impossible inventions, and the bold engineers who refused to let common sense interfere with progress.